in the moderate Aristotelian city

I'm testing my blood sugar this week for my diabetes nurse (to see whether new medication is a good idea) and it's been really, really high every time. I've tested four times this weekend.

I don't want to talk numbers because I'm terrified people will tell me off for being bad at this.

I am really struggling not have a panic attack.

( TW: Suicidal ideation )

ETA: Exercise took my blood sugar down from Really Fucking High to Still Quite High But 78% Of Previous Number. Progress?

I think I might actually turn this into a journal (perhaps more bullet-pointy and less rambly than some journals).

I might decide at some point to make these posts access-locked or even private; we'll see if I even keep it up for more than three days, and how it goes. In the meantime, I'll just say no advice, please and leave it at that.

( Journaly stuff is journaly. TMI included. )

Okay. So the one complaint so far on dwstones? Is that people aren't posting enough. So maybe I should post something about me, myself and I. How I got to Dreamwidth, and a thing or two that's important to me.

I got here via fandom. And I should point out that I'm a relative newbie to fandom with only about 18 months under my belt. I'm sure that you will hear a thing or two about my favourite fandom, which is popslash, in many subsequent posts. (For a quickie definition, though: popslash is slash about real people in the pop world, usually *Nsync, The Backstreet Boys and associated people. And slash is same-sex romantic/erotic fan fiction.)

The thing that I really want to do with my life is write. Actual words, my own non-fanfic words - and preferably make some kind of money at it. That would be awesome. I have ideas, but they feel "too big to write" and I'm rather intimidated about actually doing it. So I'm working on that particular thing.

I'm currently recovering from a major bout of depression and learning to cope with diabetes still, about nine months after I was diagnosed. Partly as a result of that, I'm currently even more obsessed than usual with self-help and self-development stuff, and trying to learn to navigate the Big Issues that get me stuck and get me upset. I'm also quite obsessed with a "destuckification expert" called Havi Brooks, who has a web site at The Fluent Self. So you may hear a thing or two about that as time goes on.

I'm spread rather wide over the internet at the moment. I have three Livejournals (currently all paid - ahem), one for personal, one for fannish, and one for writing stuff, a Twitter account which I'm just getting to grips with, a Facebook account I barely ever use, and a new WordPress blog (which at some point deserves a link).

I have a terrible habit of over-extending myself and as a result I'm always trying to rationalize and figure out what I should be committed to and what I should ditch. This seems to be a constantly ongoing process and there is never a clean slate, which I find somewhat distressing, but that's life for you.

I was quite keen on the clean slate thing here, and then I stupidly imported my LJ. Not sure why, follow the crowd I guess...

There is no real point to this entry, except to say one more hello, and give some info about myself! :)