in the moderate Aristotelian city

So I'm out of work right now.

I am looking for a volunteering position to help keep my hand in, work-wise, improve some skills, create a routine for myself, and other multivarious benefits.

I'm available up to 16 hours per week and I'm looking for work in London.

The opportunity to work with databases and/or spreadsheets would be really good.

I would really appreciate it if you guys could publicize this and/or spread the word.

Thank you.

Hurray for not being dead.

Here's a few things that are going on in my world.

1. I'm horribly behind on my Secret Santa. We'll see how things are going tomorrow - hoping not to have to ask for an extension, but we'll see. (I am not organised.)

2. The volunteering thing is going well. I'm starting to get into my stride there, which is a relief, and I'm starting to feel that I'm actually achieving stuff. It's odd, but I sort of prefer being busy and stressed to being bored. As long as I'm not too stressed, I guess?

3. I joined a support group to help with the getting back into work/sorting out my life thing. So far, it's being helpful. I'm working on forward planning and ritual, and I keep sharing Havi techniques and concepts in group. Seems to be handy!

4. I spent a lot of today rearranging my room. The more I process my belongings, the more control I feel I have over my space. Thank God for my dad and his unswerving support in this. Things feel better-managed now, but it is of course always a work in progress. I'm starting to come to terms with the idea that it'll never be perfect and that's okay, because I'll always be making baby steps towards better.

5. I threw a party for my parents tonight. It was small and relaxed, but lots of fun - we ate too much food and had fun conversation and played silly games and did quizzes. It was good!

6. Also, we beat the Guardian's Christmas Prize Crossword in two days. Woo! We'll even send it off, and maybe we'll win the prize. (Yeah, right. But we can try.)

7. In beating-the-depression news, I can finally listen to music again without getting twitchy and annoyed. Snake River Conspiracy. Backstreet Boys. Muse. U2. Hard-FI. Marilyn Manson. Radiohead. The Beatles. Nsync. Cobra Starship. I HAVE MISSED YOU GUYS. Hurray!

8. I'm writing crazy fic in my head, which at some point should see the light of day (or at least the light of a computer screen) - but it's the wrong fandom for SeSa. Sigh!

9. I need to feed my TV addictions this week, if only so I can get enough knitting time in to finish my mum's scarf (something else I'm stupidly behind on). Maybe I can knit during quiet moments at work.

10. I think that's it for now. Goodnight!

So now I'm done watching Dollhouse, maybe I can actually update here for once.

Here, have some bullet points. (Can't be bothered to actually code them. But never mind.)

I went to an awesome stitch-and-bitch/fannish gathering yesterday and had a great time.

Then I came home, watched loads of Dollhouse, and threw up at about 3.30am. Still feeling bit icky and nauseous. Ew. Not sure what is going on but I do not like it.

I cried and cried and cried over the last episode of Dollhouse. Bloody hell, Joss. Now I need something to cheer me up, stat. (I'm thinking an episode of Leverage while I work on getting the latest episode of The Big Bang Theory. Give me comedy! (edit - no TBBT this week, apparently))

My review at the volunteering job went pretty well and I am going to be laying about me when I get back there. We'll see whether or not I'm able to do that tomorrow, depending on how I feel. But I'm looking forward to leaping in there.

I learned something about myself and the containers I make for myself this week. Might write something about it on the blog later on. It's interesting and useful how paying attention to these things makes it easier to know what's happening with me.

Fandom rocks, that is all. And so does Joseph Gordon-Levitt, but you guys probably already know I have a ridiculous crush on him right now.

Er... that's it for now!

Not much to report this evening.

Tooling along with my job-hunt and working on the baby biz.

Back at work-type-volunteering-gig tomorrow morning. (Finally found shoes that are vaguely office-appropriate, and now have clean work-appropriate trousers, too. No more jeans and trainers for me.)

Really ought to be in bed already. As is often the case with me and a set getting-up time, I'm not doing well with going to bed at a decent hour. Really need to take care of my sleep, so this is tough. Slowly slowly working on it.

I'm trying to hide less. Not easy, but generally worth it.

Oh, and I'm still learning Chrome.

Time for an update of update-ey-ness.

• I'm volunteering! So far, there is not much to be done, but I'm doing what needs to be done, and answering the phone and stuff. And getting up in the morning. Well, that's a work in progress, but we'll get there, right?
  
• I'm working on biz-related stuff a bit each day. This is an improvement!
  
• I'm blogging, too. (Well, this is biz-related. But hey, there it is.)
  
• I'm keeping up with the knitting. But I need to update my Ravelry and stuff. If you're on there, too, I'm randomling.
  
• I'm also working on the job-hunting thing a bit, but that needs some more dedicated scheduling. And also, giving some time to the volunteering thing, to give me confidence that I can actually do this "working in a place" thing again.
  
• I think that is all for now.
  

Switching off the internet now. If I go to bed early, it helps with the getting up again (or so I'm led to believe).

I have a new volunteering role. I'm going to be doing admin for an education provider called CTC Training, 4 mornings a week. This is going to be really helpful in getting me into a routine, reminding me what it's like to go to a workplace, and stuff. I start on November 15th!

My brain is mush. And I am still cranky, numb and very tired. Stupid lack of anti-depressants. On the plus side, I have the pills back now, and I have a system in place to make sure I don't run out in the future. So that's positive.

I've finished watching the existing Warehouse 13 and now I'm onto Eureka. LOVE it so far.

I'm going to America on Tuesday. It's probably going to clean me out financially, but it will hopefully be worth it in terms of my mental health and working-on-my-stuff progress. Last trip for a while, at least until things turn themselves around and I get back on my feet, life-wise. But, I'm slightly freaking out about this trip even though I know it's going to be good for me.

I'm trying to show up in more places, more often these days, though that mostly means online at the moment. Once I've figured out how much volunteering time I can manage, I might start getting a little more serious about finding in-person socializing to do more than once a week. I miss having a social life!

And on a related note, I'm wanting to resurrect my Lucy Viret blog, but as is often the case when I've been quiet for a bit, I'm feeling a bit paralyzed about how to start again. (Yes, the way to break the paralysis is to just start. But on the other hand - that apparently isn't the only component needed to break the paralysis. Compassion for myself is, as always, the key, I guess.)

It's funny how I feel unbelievably self-centered whenever I start talking about compassion for myself in this place. There's clearly a Mean Little Voice that thinks I should put everyone else first. But that's part of what got me into this place of deep depression in the first place (cranky brain chemicals was another part!) so I'm not sure how useful that voice is.

That's all for now!