Trying to organise my tech life.

This post was partly inspired by ursamajor.

So this is a large, overwhelming thing for me - trying to decide and sort out what systems I want to use for various technical stuff. This is mostly life-organisation and communication stuff, though there's a bit of coding stuff in here too. It comes with a big side of "trying to reduce my dependence on Google services".

I occasionally use IFTTT as the glue between services, so I would be interested in stuff that can be manipulated that way. I'm also not averse to things that might require a bit of commandline wrangling, scripting, coding, or technical playing about to set up. (Obviously I love when stuff "just works", but I'm also not too scared of doing a bit of technical work.)

So, on to the technical stuff! This will get long, so I'm sticking it under a cut.

I am currently on OSX 10.5 and considering upgrading to 10.7, or perhaps going radical and nuking OSX in favour of either Ubuntu or Debian. Unfortunately Mountain Lion doesn't support my fairly-ancient hardware.

( All the tech in the world! )

I am sad.

I feel like today has been full of guilt. And reasons for me to feel guilty. And I can't quite figure out why.

I feel a bit like I don't do enough, and what I do do, I don't do soon enough, or fast enough, or well enough. I feel like this is how my parents think of me, and that's painful and depressing, and I'm afraid to ask because I'm sure I'll get the answer "of course that's true, but we love you anyway", which would kind of hurt.

My mother says she believes that I am really sick (at long last; there has been a lot of me telling her how things are for me and her not believing me) but that doesn't translate to my dad, who doesn't seem to know or care how it is for me. The closest I get to sympathy from him is "we're all tired!" which is kind of frustrating, because what that really means is "your problems are not interesting to me".

And yes, I'm being a total bitch here, and I'm sure my parents' intentions are far better than I think they are. And most of me is sure that I really do have a persecution complex and my impressions and feelings cannot be trusted, because that is what I was told for so long.

So between feeling sad, and guilty, I also cannot trust my emotions, because I am a sick and evil person who only believes the worst of people.

I thought I had left these patterns behind but they are always waiting in the wings.

It sucks.