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SHOULD SHOULD SHOULD SHOULD SHOULD.
Jul. 12th, 2009 07:25 pmArgh, I'm being eaten by shoulds right now. Should do some laundry, should change my sheets, should tidy up in my room, should do some writing, should catch up on Torchwood, shouldshouldshould. ACK. I hate shoulds.
I want to do some of these things, but I am feeling like there are not enough hours in the day and omg. Of course I have wasted a lot of the day and I'm beating myself up about that.
Okay.
I could do some laundry. I want to because I need clean clothes for next week and I am running low. I don't want to because it seems like a lot of effort (put together a wash - put it on - take down clean laundry that's been hanging for weeks - hang up wet clothes) and because it feel like a "should" and I'm resisting it.
I could change my sheets. I want to because they smell and it's been a long, long time. I don't want to because it seems like a huge amount of effort (tidy around bed - strip dirty sheets - put on new sheets - put new cover on duvet, UGH).
I could tidy up in my room. I want to because it would be nice to have some clear floor in my bedroom and to know where everything is - in some cases so I can get rid of it. I don't want to because it seems like a huge project and there is so much crap to clear, UGH.
I could do some writing. I want to because I want this story to be written, because actually doing the writing has a good effect on me, and because it would make me feel good to know that I am doing the "actually producing words" part of being a writer. I don't want to because I'm frightened that the story I end up writing won't be the story I want to be written.
I could catch up on Torchwood. I want to because I have heard it is good and I would like to catch up on the spoilery posts everywhere. I don't want to because everyone is telling me to, which creates resistance for me, and because it will take up a lot of time and there are other things I could be doing in that time.
So: there.
I think the upshot of that is as follows.
I want to: do some laundry and do some writing.
I want to find a way of small-ifying: changing the sheets, tidying the room, and watching Torchwood.
I am going to: put together a load of laundry.
Right. Off I go.
I want to do some of these things, but I am feeling like there are not enough hours in the day and omg. Of course I have wasted a lot of the day and I'm beating myself up about that.
Okay.
I could do some laundry. I want to because I need clean clothes for next week and I am running low. I don't want to because it seems like a lot of effort (put together a wash - put it on - take down clean laundry that's been hanging for weeks - hang up wet clothes) and because it feel like a "should" and I'm resisting it.
I could change my sheets. I want to because they smell and it's been a long, long time. I don't want to because it seems like a huge amount of effort (tidy around bed - strip dirty sheets - put on new sheets - put new cover on duvet, UGH).
I could tidy up in my room. I want to because it would be nice to have some clear floor in my bedroom and to know where everything is - in some cases so I can get rid of it. I don't want to because it seems like a huge project and there is so much crap to clear, UGH.
I could do some writing. I want to because I want this story to be written, because actually doing the writing has a good effect on me, and because it would make me feel good to know that I am doing the "actually producing words" part of being a writer. I don't want to because I'm frightened that the story I end up writing won't be the story I want to be written.
I could catch up on Torchwood. I want to because I have heard it is good and I would like to catch up on the spoilery posts everywhere. I don't want to because everyone is telling me to, which creates resistance for me, and because it will take up a lot of time and there are other things I could be doing in that time.
So: there.
I think the upshot of that is as follows.
I want to: do some laundry and do some writing.
I want to find a way of small-ifying: changing the sheets, tidying the room, and watching Torchwood.
I am going to: put together a load of laundry.
Right. Off I go.
