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randomlingSo about three weeks ago I got all excited about doing various things, none of them on their own very taxing, and doing them every day. The idea was to make sure there was some activity in my days at least that didn't involve watching TV or gaming. It's very easy, when suffering from Serious Depression, to do very little with one's time. (For example, I am right now far too brain-fogged to do any serious coding, and writing seems to be Quite Difficult, which is a bit of a problem seeing as I have two Christmas stories to write!)
The three things were:
* Piano practice
* Writing an entry on 750words.com
* Writing a journal entry here
* Some CBT
None of these is really difficult except for the CBT, which because it involves examining my emotions, etc, I find to be quite hard work. But they all require me to set aside a little time to get it done.
I'm pleased to say I've only missed a day or two of piano practice in the past 3 weeks. But I wanted to talk about the other stuff, because it's useful to talk about this pattern in my head.
I kept up the writing on 750words for about a week, which is my best streak yet.
Then what happened is what I can identify is a repeating pattern with 750words. I am often awake past midnight. The site is very strict and cuts you off for a particular day at midnight (in your own timezone), so if you don't get your words in by the cutoff, you don't get credit for that day. I know this, and I still managed to be caught off-guard by trying to write my words for Monday at 1am Tuesday morning.
Of course, this threw me off, because I'd signed up for the monthly challenge. I didn't really examine my reaction too closely, but I think at the time I was mostly pissed off because the site's idea of a day is not the same as mine (frankly I consider it "still Monday" until I go to bed, even if my bedtime ends up being 3am Tuesday). And the result is that I haven't written on 750words for two weeks.
I stopped journalling that same day because I was embarrassed to own up to the fact that I hadn't done my 750 words.
This feels like a common pattern to me.
I also quit CBT about the same time, but that was mostly because it is hard and I don't wanna.
The three things were:
* Piano practice
* Writing an entry on 750words.com
* Writing a journal entry here
* Some CBT
None of these is really difficult except for the CBT, which because it involves examining my emotions, etc, I find to be quite hard work. But they all require me to set aside a little time to get it done.
I'm pleased to say I've only missed a day or two of piano practice in the past 3 weeks. But I wanted to talk about the other stuff, because it's useful to talk about this pattern in my head.
I kept up the writing on 750words for about a week, which is my best streak yet.
Then what happened is what I can identify is a repeating pattern with 750words. I am often awake past midnight. The site is very strict and cuts you off for a particular day at midnight (in your own timezone), so if you don't get your words in by the cutoff, you don't get credit for that day. I know this, and I still managed to be caught off-guard by trying to write my words for Monday at 1am Tuesday morning.
Of course, this threw me off, because I'd signed up for the monthly challenge. I didn't really examine my reaction too closely, but I think at the time I was mostly pissed off because the site's idea of a day is not the same as mine (frankly I consider it "still Monday" until I go to bed, even if my bedtime ends up being 3am Tuesday). And the result is that I haven't written on 750words for two weeks.
I stopped journalling that same day because I was embarrassed to own up to the fact that I hadn't done my 750 words.
This feels like a common pattern to me.
I also quit CBT about the same time, but that was mostly because it is hard and I don't wanna.
