![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
randomlingAfter many long weeks, I'm finally reposting my Remix story. It's a remix of ![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
ninjetti75's Wait...! for All these Years..., and it's a direct sequel to the original story, plus of course it does the traditional Remix thing of telling it from the other guy's POV.
Summary: Justin wants more; he just isn't sure that he should.
Warnings: Boybands, RPF, sex.
Also: Thank you to the lovelyvaudevilles for beta, plus to phaballa and puszysty for their suggestions (even the ones I didn't take!).
After All These Years: The Second First Time Mix
"...more than okay."
Justin's grip tightened on the edge of the heavy hotel room door. He'd been so ready to walk away; that had been the last thing he needed. All he could think was, No, man, not right now, I can't deal with it. Like JC was trying to step into the space Britney had left. And now JC was just making it worse.
"I mean," JC went on, "it's not like I don't - " And that was too much. Justin held up his free hand and, thankfully, JC closed his mouth with a little snap.
"Not now, okay?" Justin said. "Not now."
JC, still standing in the middle of the room, nodded, but didn't say any more. He looked hurt now, too, and Justin suddenly wanted to just put his arms around JC and make it better, forget how that might hurt. Since he and Brit had broken up, all it took was for JC to put a hand on his shoulder, or in the small of his back, and for that little thrill of excitement to buzz his spine - and it made him think of how he used to feel when he held Britney. How he might never have that feeling again.
Except here was JC, and he was having that feeling again, and it felt wrong somehow.
Hell, it didn't make any sense.
"I'm sorry," Justin said. It was the only thing that even vaguely covered what he meant, and even that didn't get very close.
JC's mouth opened a little before he spoke, and his eyes were wide; it was the look he got when he sang a wrong note, the shit-my-mistake look, and that wasn't right either, dammit. None of this was JC's fault. "No," JC said. "Don't be silly, J. I." He paused, and his hands waved helplessly in the air. Justin wanted to step forward, grab those hands and pull them to his mouth. "I shouldn't have said anything."
"It's just, like." Justin smiled sheepishly. He felt it now, stronger than ever, the excitement at being close to JC. Desire. "Any other time, you know?"
"You had a girlfriend," said JC, returning Justin's smile. It didn't matter to JC that everyone had known for months that Justin's girlfriend was sleeping around, or that at least three people had told Justin that, morally, that gave him a free pass. It didn't even matter that Justin had used that free pass on more than one occasion. You had a girlfriend, that was all JC needed to know.
"Plus," JC said, "you were way too young."
Justin tried to stop smiling and couldn't. "I'm too young? I'm twenty-one, dude. I'm legal. For everything."
"I said you were too young," JC pointed out. He was still smiling too.
"Okay, good."
JC didn't seem to have an instant response; he just looked at Justin, still smiling, and then looked shyly away. Justin took a deep breath and tried to take stock of the situation.
Experimentally, Justin let go of the door, letting it swing shut behind him. JC started a little at the sound of the door hitting home, and Justin's smile widened as their eyes met. He couldn't even count how many times he'd dreamed about this. Alone in a hotel room with JC. The door closed, and locked automatically.
He'd long ago convinced himself that this would never, ever happen.
Justin took a slow step towards JC, and another deep breath. He felt turbulent inside, beyond nerves, because this was just the way he'd felt right before he kissed Britney for the first time. Like he was balancing on the edge of something scary and big, wondering if he was about to step into a whole new world and throw the old one away for good.
He'd been right, too. They'd made all those promises, years ago, and every single one had come to dust. He and Brit weren't lovers any more, and they sure as shit weren't friends, either, though they'd said they always would be.
He knew first-hand, now, what he'd suspected back then: that when you fall for a friend, you bet your friendship on love, and if the love dies, you lose what you started with. It didn't stop him from asking JC, "We'll be friends, whatever, right?"
A little frown crossed JC's face. "Of course we will."
Justin believed him, just a little. Enough to say, "Even if I kissed you?"
"I thought we weren't talking about this right now?"
Justin shrugged. "Me too. But we seem to be."
"Yeah, we do," said JC. He looked at Justin very seriously, and Justin recognized the expression JC used - still used - when he was trying to assess whether Justin was drunk. "Even if you kissed me, would we be friends?"
"That's what I wanna know."
JC sighed, turned away, and went to sit on the bed. He kept his serious face on as he talked. "The honest answer is, it's complicated," he said. "It's not something we can predict for sure. Hey, don't look like that, Justin. You asked, I'm answering."
Justin took the few steps to the bed and sat next to JC, looking at the floor, letting his hands hang in the space between his knees. Maybe it was true.
"I want us to stay friends," Justin said.
"Me too." JC put one of his hands over one of Justin's and squeezed lightly. "I want us to. I hope we will. I hope we would, I mean, if we kissed, which we don't have to."
Justin made himself look up at JC's face. JC still looked serious and concerned. "If we fucked this up," he said. He didn't need to say what the consequences would be, mention their friendship or the group or their careers. JC wasn't stupid.
"Yeah," JC said. "It's a risk. That's why. That's why I never said anything."
Justin nodded. Then he flopped back onto the bed and stared up at the very white hotel room ceiling. "I was right the first time," he said. "We so shouldn't be having this conversation."
"Yeah," JC said, and he stretched out next to Justin with a sigh.
There was a long silence. Justin kept his eyes on the ceiling, not daring to look around at JC, though he could see out of the corner of his eye that JC was looking at him. He couldn't even remember the last time he'd felt this awkward around JC. Things unsaid, things that couldn't be said, and a cold feeling in the pit of his stomach, like he'd screwed things up for good and he hadn't even gotten a kiss out of it. He shifted uncomfortably on the bed and JC sighed again.
"You're so beautiful," JC said. There was a dreamy quality to JC's voice, like he was almost asleep, but that slow, sleepy tone sent shock through him like a bolt of electricity, and he turned his head. JC chuckled quietly. "Don't look so surprised," he murmured. "It's not like I'm the only guy that's ever thought that."
JC's eyes were creased up in a half-smile. He was stretched out on his back and Justin could see the lines of muscle underneath his T-shirt. Beautiful; yeah. Justin rolled onto his side and whispered, "I wasn't saving myself for you."
JC smiled. "I know."
"I want you, though."
The impulse to do something about that was strong, and Justin went with it.
He leaned forward. It was like kissing Britney for the first time, icy nerves melting into liquid heat, how he suddenly didn't know or care if they'd be friends after this, because they'd be something better. More than friends: he remembered realizing, kissing her for the first time, how accurate that phrase was, how he felt like he'd opened up a whole new universe, how more was just the right word. Kissing JC was just like that. More.
Afterwards, he didn't remember clearly how he'd ended up on top of JC, or exactly when JC's hands had slid up under his T-shirt, or more importantly, why they'd stopped. Justin took a hungry gulp of air and was about to thrust his mouth forward to meet JC's again when JC said, "Justin."
There was a cold feeling in his stomach. JC hadn't moved out from under, or taken his hands off Justin's back, but that didn't mean he didn't want to stop. Justin swallowed and said, "Hi."
"Hi," JC said. "Look. Don't feel." JC frowned. "I don't want you to feel like you have to do anything."
"I don't. I don't have to. I just want." His hands were in JC's hair, his fingers threaded through the loose curls, and he bent to kiss JC's mouth again, softly and briefly this time.
JC felt quite different from Britney underneath him - half a day's stubble, no breasts, a slowly stiffening dick - but in other ways he was just the same, all toned muscle and easy grace. On impulse, he kissed the side of JC's neck, and felt a little gulping discomfort; one of Britney's sweet spots. "Do you want?" he asked.
JC let out a shuddering sigh. Obviously that was one of his sweet spots, too. "Yeah," he said shakily.
Justin decided to keep his mouth there for a while, making JC quiver underneath him. JC explored Justin's back with warm, slightly sweaty hands - up his spine, down to his ass, and back underneath his shirt again. He was a little surprised at how long they stayed like that before JC let out a little frustrated grunt and started fumbling with Justin's clothes. With JC's hands working the zipper of his pants, Justin lost his head. They writhed together, and all Justin could think was, More, more, more.
There was more. The air-conditioning made goosebumps on Justin's skin at first, then felt deliciously cool over his chest as JC's hands worked magic along his dick. JC felt hot and fluid and perfect in his arms, hard muscle flexing under smooth skin, his breathing a syncopated rhythm in Justin's ear. Finally, they collapsed in a single satisfied heap.
JC was on his side, his back to Justin. Justin wrapped himself around JC, and their legs tangled together as Justin pressed a kiss to the nape of JC's neck. He thought JC was asleep almost immediately, so he was surprised when JC's voice, thick and clumsy, cut through his own drowsiness. "Still friends?" JC asked.
Justin squeezed JC around the middle, and JC squirmed comfortably. "Mmm," Justin said. "Yeah.” Then he changed his mind, and murmured, “More than friends."
JC made a happy humming noise, and Justin smiled against his neck. He wasn't worried about the future any more.
ninjetti75's Wait...! for All these Years..., and it's a direct sequel to the original story, plus of course it does the traditional Remix thing of telling it from the other guy's POV.Summary: Justin wants more; he just isn't sure that he should.
Warnings: Boybands, RPF, sex.
Also: Thank you to the lovely
vaudevilles for beta, plus to phaballa and puszysty for their suggestions (even the ones I didn't take!).After All These Years: The Second First Time Mix
"...more than okay."
Justin's grip tightened on the edge of the heavy hotel room door. He'd been so ready to walk away; that had been the last thing he needed. All he could think was, No, man, not right now, I can't deal with it. Like JC was trying to step into the space Britney had left. And now JC was just making it worse.
"I mean," JC went on, "it's not like I don't - " And that was too much. Justin held up his free hand and, thankfully, JC closed his mouth with a little snap.
"Not now, okay?" Justin said. "Not now."
JC, still standing in the middle of the room, nodded, but didn't say any more. He looked hurt now, too, and Justin suddenly wanted to just put his arms around JC and make it better, forget how that might hurt. Since he and Brit had broken up, all it took was for JC to put a hand on his shoulder, or in the small of his back, and for that little thrill of excitement to buzz his spine - and it made him think of how he used to feel when he held Britney. How he might never have that feeling again.
Except here was JC, and he was having that feeling again, and it felt wrong somehow.
Hell, it didn't make any sense.
"I'm sorry," Justin said. It was the only thing that even vaguely covered what he meant, and even that didn't get very close.
JC's mouth opened a little before he spoke, and his eyes were wide; it was the look he got when he sang a wrong note, the shit-my-mistake look, and that wasn't right either, dammit. None of this was JC's fault. "No," JC said. "Don't be silly, J. I." He paused, and his hands waved helplessly in the air. Justin wanted to step forward, grab those hands and pull them to his mouth. "I shouldn't have said anything."
"It's just, like." Justin smiled sheepishly. He felt it now, stronger than ever, the excitement at being close to JC. Desire. "Any other time, you know?"
"You had a girlfriend," said JC, returning Justin's smile. It didn't matter to JC that everyone had known for months that Justin's girlfriend was sleeping around, or that at least three people had told Justin that, morally, that gave him a free pass. It didn't even matter that Justin had used that free pass on more than one occasion. You had a girlfriend, that was all JC needed to know.
"Plus," JC said, "you were way too young."
Justin tried to stop smiling and couldn't. "I'm too young? I'm twenty-one, dude. I'm legal. For everything."
"I said you were too young," JC pointed out. He was still smiling too.
"Okay, good."
JC didn't seem to have an instant response; he just looked at Justin, still smiling, and then looked shyly away. Justin took a deep breath and tried to take stock of the situation.
Experimentally, Justin let go of the door, letting it swing shut behind him. JC started a little at the sound of the door hitting home, and Justin's smile widened as their eyes met. He couldn't even count how many times he'd dreamed about this. Alone in a hotel room with JC. The door closed, and locked automatically.
He'd long ago convinced himself that this would never, ever happen.
Justin took a slow step towards JC, and another deep breath. He felt turbulent inside, beyond nerves, because this was just the way he'd felt right before he kissed Britney for the first time. Like he was balancing on the edge of something scary and big, wondering if he was about to step into a whole new world and throw the old one away for good.
He'd been right, too. They'd made all those promises, years ago, and every single one had come to dust. He and Brit weren't lovers any more, and they sure as shit weren't friends, either, though they'd said they always would be.
He knew first-hand, now, what he'd suspected back then: that when you fall for a friend, you bet your friendship on love, and if the love dies, you lose what you started with. It didn't stop him from asking JC, "We'll be friends, whatever, right?"
A little frown crossed JC's face. "Of course we will."
Justin believed him, just a little. Enough to say, "Even if I kissed you?"
"I thought we weren't talking about this right now?"
Justin shrugged. "Me too. But we seem to be."
"Yeah, we do," said JC. He looked at Justin very seriously, and Justin recognized the expression JC used - still used - when he was trying to assess whether Justin was drunk. "Even if you kissed me, would we be friends?"
"That's what I wanna know."
JC sighed, turned away, and went to sit on the bed. He kept his serious face on as he talked. "The honest answer is, it's complicated," he said. "It's not something we can predict for sure. Hey, don't look like that, Justin. You asked, I'm answering."
Justin took the few steps to the bed and sat next to JC, looking at the floor, letting his hands hang in the space between his knees. Maybe it was true.
"I want us to stay friends," Justin said.
"Me too." JC put one of his hands over one of Justin's and squeezed lightly. "I want us to. I hope we will. I hope we would, I mean, if we kissed, which we don't have to."
Justin made himself look up at JC's face. JC still looked serious and concerned. "If we fucked this up," he said. He didn't need to say what the consequences would be, mention their friendship or the group or their careers. JC wasn't stupid.
"Yeah," JC said. "It's a risk. That's why. That's why I never said anything."
Justin nodded. Then he flopped back onto the bed and stared up at the very white hotel room ceiling. "I was right the first time," he said. "We so shouldn't be having this conversation."
"Yeah," JC said, and he stretched out next to Justin with a sigh.
There was a long silence. Justin kept his eyes on the ceiling, not daring to look around at JC, though he could see out of the corner of his eye that JC was looking at him. He couldn't even remember the last time he'd felt this awkward around JC. Things unsaid, things that couldn't be said, and a cold feeling in the pit of his stomach, like he'd screwed things up for good and he hadn't even gotten a kiss out of it. He shifted uncomfortably on the bed and JC sighed again.
"You're so beautiful," JC said. There was a dreamy quality to JC's voice, like he was almost asleep, but that slow, sleepy tone sent shock through him like a bolt of electricity, and he turned his head. JC chuckled quietly. "Don't look so surprised," he murmured. "It's not like I'm the only guy that's ever thought that."
JC's eyes were creased up in a half-smile. He was stretched out on his back and Justin could see the lines of muscle underneath his T-shirt. Beautiful; yeah. Justin rolled onto his side and whispered, "I wasn't saving myself for you."
JC smiled. "I know."
"I want you, though."
The impulse to do something about that was strong, and Justin went with it.
He leaned forward. It was like kissing Britney for the first time, icy nerves melting into liquid heat, how he suddenly didn't know or care if they'd be friends after this, because they'd be something better. More than friends: he remembered realizing, kissing her for the first time, how accurate that phrase was, how he felt like he'd opened up a whole new universe, how more was just the right word. Kissing JC was just like that. More.
Afterwards, he didn't remember clearly how he'd ended up on top of JC, or exactly when JC's hands had slid up under his T-shirt, or more importantly, why they'd stopped. Justin took a hungry gulp of air and was about to thrust his mouth forward to meet JC's again when JC said, "Justin."
There was a cold feeling in his stomach. JC hadn't moved out from under, or taken his hands off Justin's back, but that didn't mean he didn't want to stop. Justin swallowed and said, "Hi."
"Hi," JC said. "Look. Don't feel." JC frowned. "I don't want you to feel like you have to do anything."
"I don't. I don't have to. I just want." His hands were in JC's hair, his fingers threaded through the loose curls, and he bent to kiss JC's mouth again, softly and briefly this time.
JC felt quite different from Britney underneath him - half a day's stubble, no breasts, a slowly stiffening dick - but in other ways he was just the same, all toned muscle and easy grace. On impulse, he kissed the side of JC's neck, and felt a little gulping discomfort; one of Britney's sweet spots. "Do you want?" he asked.
JC let out a shuddering sigh. Obviously that was one of his sweet spots, too. "Yeah," he said shakily.
Justin decided to keep his mouth there for a while, making JC quiver underneath him. JC explored Justin's back with warm, slightly sweaty hands - up his spine, down to his ass, and back underneath his shirt again. He was a little surprised at how long they stayed like that before JC let out a little frustrated grunt and started fumbling with Justin's clothes. With JC's hands working the zipper of his pants, Justin lost his head. They writhed together, and all Justin could think was, More, more, more.
There was more. The air-conditioning made goosebumps on Justin's skin at first, then felt deliciously cool over his chest as JC's hands worked magic along his dick. JC felt hot and fluid and perfect in his arms, hard muscle flexing under smooth skin, his breathing a syncopated rhythm in Justin's ear. Finally, they collapsed in a single satisfied heap.
JC was on his side, his back to Justin. Justin wrapped himself around JC, and their legs tangled together as Justin pressed a kiss to the nape of JC's neck. He thought JC was asleep almost immediately, so he was surprised when JC's voice, thick and clumsy, cut through his own drowsiness. "Still friends?" JC asked.
Justin squeezed JC around the middle, and JC squirmed comfortably. "Mmm," Justin said. "Yeah.” Then he changed his mind, and murmured, “More than friends."
JC made a happy humming noise, and Justin smiled against his neck. He wasn't worried about the future any more.
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2008-11-10 03:21 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-11-11 06:56 pm (UTC)Glad you enjoyed it! (Glad you read it, in fact - Remix stories don't get a lot of attention outside the crowd that do the remixing!)
Cheers!
no subject
Date: 2008-11-11 07:05 pm (UTC)Your two Swap stories were one and two on my favorites list this year. I have re-read them numerous times, and forced my friends who don't like AU's to read them both because I think they are terrific. I think because you like them, you write them well. Great job!
no subject
Date: 2008-11-11 07:22 pm (UTC)The epic is actually a sequel to "(I'm Not) Home For Christmas" - and I know a couple of people were hankering to find out what happened next for those two boys, so it'll be fun to post that finally. If it's ever done. It's going to be SO LONG. Like - it's already almost 5 times as long as anything else I've written, and it's just over halfway done.
So, yes. There are sequels in my head to "Flaming Ninja Waffles", too. You may have to look out for a snippet from that 'verse 'round about JuC Day!
And on another note - why on earth don't I have you friended on my fannish journal? I hope you don't mind if I friend you over on
no subject
Date: 2008-11-11 08:59 pm (UTC)I can't tell you how thrilled I am that you are working on these two stories to give us updates on the characters. *squee*
no subject
Date: 2008-11-11 09:27 pm (UTC)And - yay! It is totally awesome to induce squee. [flails happily]
On another note. D'aw, I love your icon. Oh, boys. ♥
no subject
Date: 2008-11-11 09:28 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-11-11 09:34 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-11-11 10:32 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-11-11 10:43 pm (UTC)I have been here a year now and I couldn't be happier! :D
no subject
Date: 2008-11-11 10:46 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-11-11 11:10 pm (UTC)And somewhere along the way I picked up a fic journal, too. So, three journals. Insane!
(Also, I do not have anywhere NEAR enough icons on this journal....)
no subject
Date: 2008-11-11 11:26 pm (UTC)I'm impressed you can manage 3 LJ's!
no subject
Date: 2008-11-11 11:34 pm (UTC)Having three browsers helps, as logging in and out the whole time used to make me nuts before. I don't manage them very well, though - which is why sometimes I let the comments on this one languish for months before answering them. Oops...
I'm glad I got interested in the boys too. I can't imagine how I would have got through the last year or so without pop, actually; lots of bad stuff has happened and popslash and popslashers have somehow got me out the other side! And the Swap was so much fun. I'm trying to cut down on my challenges next year as this summer I was a bit, um, oversubscribed, but we will see what happens when sign-ups open, I guess...!
no subject
Date: 2008-11-12 03:04 pm (UTC)Since I don't write...I can just imagine how difficult challenges might be. Like you want to do it, because you have a bunny or something...but then there is that deadline pressure and then it gets closer and closer. I had many people freak out on me. So I'm sure it puts a lot of pressure on you creatively.
When I first got into the fandom, there was so much fic every day and then came the dreaded hiatus. I think Challenges were created to keep people writing...so in a way, yay! but not so much for the pressure they put on people!
no subject
Date: 2008-11-12 07:15 pm (UTC)And yes, deadline pressure is also a bitch. It's nice to occasionally have something to write that doesn't have a date when you must post or submit it!
no subject
Date: 2008-11-12 08:22 pm (UTC)It's so thoughtful though, for you to think about doing the challenges because they don't have a lot of participants or because you want to make someone happy. That's super nice.
no subject
Date: 2008-11-12 08:28 pm (UTC)And I must confess - it's partly an ego thing, I do completely love getting good feedback and there's nothing like knowing you've done a good job of writing the kind of story that someone was looking for out of a fic exchange! So, it's not entirely altruistic. :P
no subject
Date: 2008-11-12 08:34 pm (UTC)I don't think there is anything wrong with wanting to have people like and tell you they liked something you put a lot of effort into. So, I think that's pretty acceptable :)
no subject
Date: 2008-11-12 08:56 pm (UTC)I think I'd certainly post in parts if it was a long, long story, but only once the story was done - that's the vague plan with the Epic JuC, assuming it ever gets to that stage (which I hope it will). It was 70k at the halfway mark, so it's going to be too long for anyone to read in one sitting. It might be nice to have it coming out in weekly or biweekly chunks for a while.
Yeah, it is definitely nice to get recognition for something you've put a lot of effort into. Especially something like "Flaming Ninja Waffles" which was very close to my heart as a story. I didn't get very much feedback on it, but the feedback I did get was of very high quality, which was awesome. :D
no subject
Date: 2008-11-12 09:04 pm (UTC)I actually when to Hell Board (aka the JJB) the week the Swap stories were posted, and someone said something about not sending feedback because authors didn't know who she was and wouldn't care if she sent any...I corrected her quickly (and broke one of my rules never to post there).
Sadly, I think there are many, many people who don't send feedback. Shoot, I send feedback sometimes to authors, when I re-read something.
Still appalled!!
no subject
Date: 2008-11-12 09:23 pm (UTC)I think I saw that same post on the JJB, actually!
With FNW - well, my recipient really enjoyed it, and I managed to make at least one person who doesn't normally enjoy JuC read and enjoy it, and the people who I wanted to read and like it did! So I'm not too upset about the lack of feedback really!
no subject
Date: 2008-11-12 10:58 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-11-13 02:27 pm (UTC)