I have been promising myself I'd make a proper post for ages

[randomling]

And not doing it.

I suppose this is because I feel a bit like my life is essentially quite boring. I'm currently freelancing, and trying to work my way up into at least decent part-time hours without falling over, which is proving challenging because I fall over at the least little bit of stress.

(And I mean last week was almost a complete bust because of this and this week is all about the recovery.)

I'm still learning German. I think I'm getting a bit more fluent. I'm trying to get a handle on what kind of future I might have. That's a bit difficult, because depressed-brain is still a bit prone to saying "NONE LOL" and predicting that my health issues will kill me in a few years so what's the point. So some days even looking at the future without cringing away in fear is really hard, and most days, let's be honest, I don't really bother.

Money stuff is going a bit better since I got new budgeting software about six months ago. It's really making it much eaiser to plan ahead and figure out what I need to do with my money. It also helps that I'm earning some. Not a huge amount yet, but more than I was on JSA.

I'm RPing a lot, and thinking a lot about my characters without actually doing much writing on the novel or anything else (despite mostly making it to writing dates each week). The problem is there's so much I want to make a priority, and having limited energy and limited time and all the rest of it (really the energy is more of a problem than anything else), it gets really hard to prioritise and decide what I actually want to focus on.

Not sure what else to talk about. I'm keeping up with Doctor Who, though I'm really ragey at Moffat for various reasons. I'm occasionally reading fic and being a bit anxious about Yuletide nominations. I'm still not really reading printed books very much, though I'm reading a lot of articles in Pocket instead. Not sure why I'm finding books so hard but that's been ongoing for... a couple of years?

I am trying to diversify a bit socially, but coming up against the same old demons of "you've had depression for the past six years and you managed to nuke 90% of your social circle". Which makes me feel guilty about trying to renew old friendships and anxiousa about trying to start new ones. It's awesome.

I think that might be about it for now!

Comments

[purplecat]

I don't know about other people but I always like reading posts about my friends' everyday lives even if they seem apparently mundane. I suspect it is a social animal thing, a lot of us are just naturally interested in each others' day to day business. I don't comment on them as much as I should though.

[rmc28]

I like reading everyday-life posts too ... other people's mundane is not my mundane after all.

[randomling]

Good point! It's useful to remember that boring-to-me is not always boring-to-everyone.

(And it's also good for me to write about what's happening 'cause then I don't feel so cut off from everything.)

[green_knight]

It also makes it easier to keep in touch with people, and gives you an instant conversation topic about that book/film/meal/event that the other person mentioned instead of going through the whole 'how are you' 'how much do they want to know' dance.

[randomling]

All very good points! I am never good at that dance.

[randomling]

<3! Yes, I really like reading about my friends' daily lives, too - it's just I feel a bit weird posting about mine. Maybe I'm just out of practice?

[purplecat]

I hardly ever post daily life posts, only holidays and special events and things like that. I don't think I feel weird about them. But I'm enough of a "I must have a system" person that I feel if I started doing them I'd feel vaguely obligated to post one a day, or one a week, or some sort of schedule which would then become a straightjacket that would cause me stress. I know, in theory, it would be just fine to do a "babble about my day/week/month if I feel like it" post whenever I felt like it, but I know my brain well enough to know I simply couldn't handle that lack of structure.

[randomling]

Ha, yes, I know the feeling - I've been doing a lot lately with trying to make routines for myself (it makes things a lot easier on my brain!), so maybe having a routine for this would help a bit...

[turps]

Like your other commenters, I like the day to day posts too. I like to know how you're doing :)

[randomling]

Aww. It's so nice to hear from you! How's things? <3

[bossymarmalade]

Ooooh, what are you RPing right now? Is it lj/dw or on tumblr or somewhere else?

[randomling]

It is Elsewhere! Some of it is IM RP (which is really fun!) and some of it is at a Special Dedicated Website run by a friend, which I think I want to check with said friend whether they're okay with me dropping a link on my public journal before I do so!

It is really fun - and I have discovered I love playing OCs (MY BABIES) but am not very interested in playing fandom characters at all. It's interesting. :D