Lee (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
randomling) wrote2015-02-11 04:25 pm
randomling) wrote2015-02-11 04:25 pm
Entry tags:
Interesting thought, not where I'm going with it
Reading someone's long thinky-thoughts article about "the stigma of mental health" and the realities behind it, and I wonder to myself: why don't I write long thinky-thoughts articles about the issues that are important to me?
Partial answer: because I don't feel I have any opinions that are really "mine" (they all seem "borrowed" or absorbed from what other people think).
Partial rebuttal: aren't a lot of people's opinions based on reading or hearing what others think and developing their own opinions, either in agreement or contradiction?
Partial rebuttal to the rebuttal: Yes, but I feel like I could do better on a) doing my own research and fact-finding b) figuring out what I really think in response to other people's opinions c) not rushing to agree with everyone because fail-brain thinks I have to appease everyone or they will hate/attack me*.
What I guess I need: To figure out how to do a) and b), with an eye on mental health because seeking out facts about the upsetting things is likely to, duh, upset me, and with the corollary that b) is somewhat dependent on c) and c) is hard to fix in isolation.
What I might also need: Reassurance that I am not alone in having these kinds of struggles, stories about having, negotiating and learning about opinions, pictures of wombats or cats, hugs.
What I definitely don't need: Advice or opinions on How To Form Opinions (there is a whole extra thing of issues here about when people actually tell me what to do/think, I get grumpy).
*NB: I know this last is logic-free, it's a relic of my childhood which needs kicking in the arse if I could only figure out how.
Partial answer: because I don't feel I have any opinions that are really "mine" (they all seem "borrowed" or absorbed from what other people think).
Partial rebuttal: aren't a lot of people's opinions based on reading or hearing what others think and developing their own opinions, either in agreement or contradiction?
Partial rebuttal to the rebuttal: Yes, but I feel like I could do better on a) doing my own research and fact-finding b) figuring out what I really think in response to other people's opinions c) not rushing to agree with everyone because fail-brain thinks I have to appease everyone or they will hate/attack me*.
What I guess I need: To figure out how to do a) and b), with an eye on mental health because seeking out facts about the upsetting things is likely to, duh, upset me, and with the corollary that b) is somewhat dependent on c) and c) is hard to fix in isolation.
What I might also need: Reassurance that I am not alone in having these kinds of struggles, stories about having, negotiating and learning about opinions, pictures of wombats or cats, hugs.
What I definitely don't need: Advice or opinions on How To Form Opinions (there is a whole extra thing of issues here about when people actually tell me what to do/think, I get grumpy).
*NB: I know this last is logic-free, it's a relic of my childhood which needs kicking in the arse if I could only figure out how.
no subject
I can relate though - often All The Good Ideas seem to be taken, but such is life and we all stand on the shoulders of giants, thank God :)
no subject
And that's actually a really useful perspective shift - obviously there are no truly original ideas, we're all building on something that's gone before. I suspect this is partly a brainweasel issue, but I think there's also a point somewhere around here about figuring out not only how to figure out what I think but how to both stand my ground when I want to and negotiate the experience of "that's a good point, maybe I need to change my mind" without feeling like I have disappeared somewhere in the middle of that.