liv: In English: My fandom is text obsessed / In Hebrew: These are the words (words)
Liv ([personal profile] liv) wrote in [personal profile] randomling 2013-02-22 05:59 pm (UTC)

Religion at home

Really glad you asked that, because one of the big things that people seem to miss when researching Judaism through the internet or books is the home ritual aspect of it. Judaism is about equal parts a home-based and a synagogue-based religion, and the synagogue bits tend to get written about disproportionately.

Shabbat is in fact primarily a home thing. It's having a really nice meal at home on Friday evening, and spending time quietly at home with people you love. For people who are traditionally observant, nearly all the observances are about changing the way you organize your home life (eg not cooking, not switching on and off electricity). You can go to synagogue if you want to, I'd even say it's encouraged, but it's by no means the main part of what Shabbat is.

Some people who have non-nuclear families and / or certain mental health issues can perceive that Shabbat as a home thing gets muddled up with Shabbat as a family thing. Celebrating it alone is certainly possible, though a bit, well, sad; normally when anyone celebrates anything they like to get together with people close to them. In good, vibrant communities people who have the resources to do so will invite single people and travellers into their homes so that nobody's left alone over Shabbat. This happens a lot in Oxford given that there's loads of students who are nearly all away from their nuclear families even if they're as straight as straight can be. And informal and semi-formal Queer groups will likely do Shabbat meals as an alternative-to-family thing, long before they get organized enough to do things like run services or even form their own synagogues. But in communities that don't function so well or just haven't thought about this properly, Queer people can sometimes pick up the message that they can't do "family" things unless they have a different-sex spouse and 2.4 kids, and feel excluded as a result.

Other things one might do at home: regular daily prayers; it's traditional to go to synagogue Monday and Thursday morning, though only the most religiously engaged people do that in modern society. But afternoon and evening prayers and morning prayers that are not on Monday and Thursday are nearly always carried out at home. Also keeping kosher; that's nearly entirely a home thing. Synagogues keep kosher too, of course, and some people will eat out only in kosher restaurants, but the bulk of what it means to eat only ritually appropriate food is a home-based thing. Two festivals which are primarily home-based are Pesach (Passover) and Chanukah (mid-winter festival of lights), and Sukkot (Tabernacles) has a major home-based component.

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